were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
