Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
