Me. At least after what I've been through.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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