Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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