I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
