I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
