idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
