I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
