I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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