So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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