And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I need to calm my uterus...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
