You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
