I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
