Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize