I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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