found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
