dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
