the new term for farting is butt boxing.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
