ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
