we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize