They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Also, beer. Big fan.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
