I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
