yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
