I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
