I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Duck Duck Cougar?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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