He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
