I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Randomize
