haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize