Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize