Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
