I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
