And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
