I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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