i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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