every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
