My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
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