Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
