Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize