I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize