did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
