Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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