is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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