Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
