now i know why i became what i already was.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think a kid would responsible me up
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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