break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
