Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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