then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
