I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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