How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
