On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize