turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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