I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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