Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
