Pregnant stripper...not hot.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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