He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
