Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
