Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
