i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
